In this episode, the Expert Network Team sits down with Diana Kokoszka, author of Becoming More, for a heartfelt conversation on mindset, confidence, leadership, and faith.
Diana shares wisdom on how language shapes our identity, how to overcome limiting beliefs, and the powerful “Be-Do-Have-Give” philosophy that drives true transformation. She opens up about her own journey from humble beginnings to becoming the CEO of one of the world’s most successful coaching programs—and how faith played a central role every step of the way.
- Learn how to shift from victimhood to empowerment
- Why emotions drive action (and how to control them)
- The key to growth isn’t perfection—it’s purposeful movement in a committed direction
Don’t miss Diana’s final reflections—a prayer answered live on the air.
Karl:
Welcome to the Expert Network Team Podcast. In today’s episode, we’ll continue our conversation with Diana Kokoska, the author of Becoming More. Diana is going to begin with an explanation of the language that we use, how important it is, and then give us some advice about be, do, have, and give. She’ll finish our conversation with the biggest piece of advice she could give us and the power that has enabled her to achieve so much success. Stay tuned until the end.
Diana Kokoska:
You know, the words that we say to people sometimes go deep into their brain. I had a friend in a mentorship group who always wanted to sing. I asked her, why don’t you? She said when she was young, her mom told her she was a terrible singer and that it gave her headaches. Later, she joined a choir at a new school, but the teacher told her to just mouth the words. She’s been doing that since seventh grade. Now in her 50s, I finally got her to sing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” in our group of 14. Everyone gave her a standing ovation. It wasn’t about singing—it was about confidence. That confidence translated into her business doubling.
You never know what you say and how it will land. People could be in therapy years later over something we said casually. We don’t always realize the wake we leave behind.
Karl:
That goes back to your point about environment. Some of our mindset is programmed by that environment. But how powerful to have someone else believe in us. Change doesn’t have to be a solo performance. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in you makes all the difference.
Diana Kokoska:
Absolutely. As leaders, our job is to help bring out the greatness in people. I always said my job was to take a stand for their greatness more than their limitations. People cling to the past because it’s familiar. It’s like prisoners returning to prison for the routine they know. I believe we all live in prisons we create with our own thoughts. Our comfort zones are those prisons.
Like John Maxwell says, we have uphill goals with downhill habits. Every goal has a toll booth. It requires a price. And that price is stepping out of your comfort zone.
Diana Kokoska (cont’d):
Jim Rohn told me, “Set a goal to make a million dollars. Not for the money, but for who you will become in the process.” That one sentence changed my life. That’s why Becoming More matters so much.
Taylor:
I used to think my job was to create the perfect path to my goals. But life doesn’t work that way. Waiting until everything is perfect means you’ll never start. Nate has helped us identify that fear and discomfort is often where we need to go.
Diana Kokoska:
Nate, that’s an art of leadership. You know the Chinese finger trap? The more you pull, the tighter it gets. When you push in—surrender—it releases. We’re taught to control everything, but we need to surrender and have emotion tied to our goals. Passion drives persistence.
Nate:
Jeff, Karl, and I work with a business coach who talks about “ponate” – purposeful movement in a committed direction. You don’t need the perfect plan, just movement and the willingness to course-correct.
Diana Kokoska:
Exactly. The brain’s working memory thrives on focused attention and deliberate practice. Pick a principle daily and let it shape you.
Taylor:
Can you explain your be-do-have-give concept?
Diana Kokoska:
Yes! Everyone lives a story with a victim, villain, and hero. Victims live by: If I had what they had, I could do what they do, and then I could be like them. That’s have-do-be. Villains live by: Just work harder. Do, do, do. Then you can have, then be. But heroes live by be-do-have-give. Be like the person you want to become. Then do what they do. Then have what they have. Then give abundantly.
Jeff:
That’s so powerful.
Diana Kokoska:
We all have four storytellers in our minds:
The devious one: “I’m not good enough.”
The flattering one: “I already know everything.”
The excuse-maker: Gives you reasons to stay stuck.
The empowering one: Lifts you and others up.
Help others find their gift. Everyone has one—they just haven’t all opened it yet.
Karl:
Chapter 10 about emotions really hit me. My mentor once said, “Change your tube, dude.” Meaning, change your thoughts to change how you feel. That connection between mind and body is real.
Diana Kokoska:
Yes, insecure thoughts lead to insecure feelings, and vice versa. Motion equals emotion. Get up and move to shift your energy. Power poses work. And feelings aren’t emotions. We choose our feelings. You can’t stay angry unless you attach it to someone or something. When you release that, it fades.
Jeff:
We joke in our family and blame everything on one person to point out the absurdity of avoiding personal responsibility.
Diana Kokoska:
That’s so good. Dr. Joe Dispenza says if you stay in a negative emotion for an hour, it’s a mood. A week, it’s temperament. A lifetime, it becomes personality. Dr. Amen compares emotions to dragons—different types of feelings we carry.
Nate:
As we wrap up, Diana, how has your faith influenced your work?
Diana Kokoska:
Thank you for asking. I’m currently doing a 21-day prayer and fast. Faith is a huge part of my life. I sit on John Maxwell’s board at EQUIP. Everything comes from God; I’m just a steward of what He gives me. We’re here to serve and multiply our talents. Retirement would mean I’m not using my talents anymore.
I had a prayer this morning asking for the opportunity to share my faith. You asking just now—that was the answer. He lives.
Karl:
Thank you for being honest. That was powerful.
Diana Kokoska:
Thank you. Watch your thoughts and your words. They shape the direction of your life.
Team:
Thank you, Diana.
Outro:
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Disclaimer: Listening to this podcast does not establish a client-professional relationship. The views expressed are those of the speakers and do not constitute legal, financial, or fiduciary advice.